Monday, May 10, 2010

First and foremost...

I feel the need for a bit of an introduction... This is a sort of continuation from a "regular" blog I have that has become a little too public for my liking, and some things I would like to talk about I cannot there for the sake of my livelihood. For the new readers, I am a Marine veteran, drummer in two local bands, electrician, and mechanical engineering student. I may or may not be ok after all that, I like to drink, usually beer and whiskey, I swear like a mother fucker, have about 90% grammatical proficiency(I hope), smoke and drink a shit-ton of coffee. I feel cheap and dirty for having to have this second "secret" blog, but it is what it is.

People who are transplants from my other blog, feel free to skip down a bit and start below the picture. I won't mention people by name, the names of my bands, or my girlfriend, that is how I ended up here in the frost place. I will try to put some pictures up, but none will have my face, sorry. I will be talking about the things that happen in my life, my job, my bands, the old lady, politics, religion, and my opinions on these things, sometimes you may be bored, sometimes you might get disgusted or pissed, sometimes you might laugh your dick off, something for everyone.

I am an atheist, wasn't always one and will try to be nice to believers, but my blog, my opinion, my words, fuck off if you don't like it. I do welcome debate and discussion however. I may not be right, probably am not a lot of the time, but that is how people learn, through discussion and debate.

I drink more than I should and the V.A. is about to put me on med's for anxiety, depression, cod, and ptsd for starters. I usually am at least half in the bag and in a foul mood when I write this, hopefully it helps. :) If not, well then I guess we are all fucked.

So let us dive in for the night... I am a pretty unhappy person I am finding out, not sure why, but maybe the shrink at the VA can help with some of that shit. My girlfriend is sweet, pretty, and a horny girl that is loyal and caring and loves to be around me. I couldn't possibly have an issue with that, until I started thinking a lot about it. I don't want to fight with her, we had our first a couple weeks ago and it was so cute, until I wanted to lock her in a box and send her over a waterfall to shut her the fuck up. That wasn't much of an issue though, no biggie at all, last a bit then she got rid of her attitude problem. I was thinking one night and I noticed that when her eyes are open, one is a little more open than the other. She is also too mushy, and too touchy feely. She can't go more than five fucking minutes without reaching over and touching my arm or leaning against me. Get the fuck off of me, I know you are there, I don't need a reminder of it every couple minutes. I like you, you know I do, don't try to get me to say it every hour on the god damned hour. You also do not need to text me every random thought that crosses your head or every single thing you do throughout your day. I have a job, I need to do it while I am there, I don't give a shit that your dog just did the cutest little thing or that you hate doing housework or mundane things like that. If you have something to say, that is one thing, I don;t bug you with little crap like that, I only text you if it is important, or if I am hammered and I think it is really funny (usually really stupid:) ) That being said, I would much rather have her around than not have her around, but it was pointed out to me while I was talking to a friend over the weekend that I just have to find a problem with everything.

This one, however, is not me being a fuck-tard, these guys are just assholes half the time. Case in point tonight. This past semester I was in school two nights a week, one of them had been a practice night. We switched for another night and all was supposed to be fine until a couple of them started showing up late all the time and blaming it on me and my schedule. This after a rousing speech about how the band came first and fuck jobs and shit like that, but that was the guy who is the most late. A part time bull shit job with flexible hours that always is scheduled around other shit and talked up like he walks out when he wants cause the band comes first, but he is always late because of it. If it is a bad night for it, just say so, all you have to do is be honest. That is all I ask of people and it seems to be so damn hard for anyone to do. Sometimes they are more worried about the image than actually doing the work we need to do to be the band they tell people we are. We all have to nix a practice once in a while, that is how it fucking goes, no one is perfect and always available, sometimes shit happens. All you have to do is say so and be honest, I have cancelled once or twice just cause I wasn't in the mood to be in public, but I told them exactly that. I didn't make up an excuse about being sick and instead facebooked I was at a concert or something like that. This band in particular is about to become not worth it anymore. I was promised a ton of shit when I joined and based on the rep the band had, I believed it. Not one damn thing has happened that they said. Just last week the one was telling some dame at a bar that our next show was our last in the state before we left for tour and that we hardly ever played here because we were always playing out of state gig's. I have been in the band for about a year now, and not once have we left the city we live in for a gig. Our manager and our label doesn't do shit for us, but that is me still believing them that we still have those two things. We do more promotion than most bands for our shows and get good turn outs, but nothing like the shows they promised me. Guess I fell for it and it's not that I don't like the tunes we play, most of them are pretty good, but one or two I hate, and anyone who has ever been in a band knows this is true of anyone in any band, haha. It just sucks that I put a lot of shit on the line for this band and was ready to do a lot more and it seems like it is all just bullshit. I dropped out of school for a semester for this and had to pay back a couple months of student loans I couldn't really afford to because of it. Now I was accepted to engineering and they are mad at me cause I am going back to school. One guy has the mentality of a 14 yr old girl, and the one would have made a great used car salesman. the other guy is just quiet and stays in the background.

This was just a rant, usually I will try to be a little more comical about things and add in more of my fuck ups and adventures, just needed to get some shit off of my chest.